Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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