Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
