Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
