Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i dont even know how to be here
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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