I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
