I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
