BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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