walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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