not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
