I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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