eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
