is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
