Your mouth is God's brothel.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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