Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Where is the hickey?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
