hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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