this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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