Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
