TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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