names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
