recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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