Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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