Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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