sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
