Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
