Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
