this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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