Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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