did you get engaged???
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
