it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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