when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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