dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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