If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
