He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
