It's like God shit irony all over that family
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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