I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
