So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
