My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
