You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
