It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This is my gift to your gina
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
