Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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