We won't sleep together?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
