chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This is my gift to your gina
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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