is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
