My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
