We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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