How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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