dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
