Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
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