we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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