I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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