When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
