Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
