You work out of a Hotel?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
