I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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