I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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