I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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