this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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