Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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