Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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