Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I FOUND THE LEGS
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize