All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
