remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
