sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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