People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
They took my balls.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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