Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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