Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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