I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize