Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
