Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
