i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
