May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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