): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
