He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize